


Look At How My Tears Ricochet

by Not_So_Mundane_After_All_97



Category: Titans (TV 2018)
Genre: 2x09 Atonement, Anyway stan core four only, Donna and the birds can fuck off, Father-Daughter Relationship, Fix-It, OGs hypocrisy in full display, One Shot, Platonic Female/Male Relationships, Platonic Relationships, Team Dynamics, Team as Family, This is what REALLY should have went down
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-14
Updated: 2020-11-14
Packaged: 2021-03-09 23:29:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,054
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27564568
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Not_So_Mundane_After_All_97/pseuds/Not_So_Mundane_After_All_97
Summary: "Oh, we are serious." the amazon replied. Then she moved her eyes to Dick.  "So what, we're just like your little soldiers that work on need-to-know basis? That's your idea of a team?"Filled with anger, she stood up, taking a step towards him. Her words dripped with venom."I mean, you got a kid killed. Who the fuck hides that?"Rachel was sick of all of this. It was too much. This time she couldn't bite her tongue anymore."Well, that's fucking rich."2x09 Fix-it oneshot. What really should have happened when Dick told the team the truth about Jericho. a.k.a. the hypocrisy of the OG Titans on full display and Core Four (mostly Rachel, but still) showing them what Family REALLY means.
Relationships: Dick Grayson & Donna Troy, Dick Grayson & Koriand'r & Garfield Logan & Raven, Dick Grayson & Rachel Roth, Dick Grayson & Raven, Past Garth/Donna Troy
Comments: 11
Kudos: 141





	Look At How My Tears Ricochet

**Author's Note:**

> I'M BACK!.  
> I teased this thing for a while now. I've been planning to write it for months but only now finally pushed myself to do it  
> 2x09 hurt me deeply. I can't watch the opening scene of it without crying or getting angry - I made myself do it for the sake of this fic.  
> I didn't see any sense in Rachel's decision to leave at first. Now I understand it more but it still hurts to watch. I was hurt that she didn't stay by Dick's side, after defending him in previous episodes and understanding he did what he did to protect them.  
> And don't even get me started on the fucking hypocrisy of OGs. Especially Donna's - I didn't realize how bad she fucked up until I focused on the right things during a rewatch - which you're gonna find in this fic.  
> So, in my classic fashion, I decided to yet again fix the shitty canon of season 2.
> 
> ENJOY!
> 
> The lyrics come from the song "My Tears Ricochet" by Taylor Swift.

**_We gather here, we line up_ **

**_Weepin' in a sunlit room, and_ **

**_If I'm on fire, you'll be made of ashes too_ **

**_Even on my worst day, did I deserve, babe_ **

**_All the hell you gave me?_ **

**_'Cause I loved you, I swear I loved you_ **

**_'Til my dying day_ **

**_I didn't have it in myself to go with grace_ **

**_And you're the hero flying around, saving face_ **

**_And if I'm dead to you, why are you at the wake?_ **

**_Cursing my name, wishing I stayed_ **

**_Look at how my tears ricochet_ **

* * *

"I lied."

With these words, Dick began the last part of the story. Standing in front of them like a convict in front of a firing squad, he told them about what happened five years ago. The atmosphere thickened with each word he spoke, so much so that it felt like it could be cut with a knife.

"I lied to you guys, because I was afraid you'd leave this place. And me. And if that happened there would be no Titans." He spoke as he turned to the youngest and newest members of the team. His repentance was as easy to read from his face as from an open book, but Rachel still didn't know what to make of it all. She exchanged an unsure glance with Gar, who was standing with her by the refrigerator, leaning against the counter, but her green-haired friend was as confused as she was.

"And I lied to you, too." this time, Dick turned to his old friends, the original Titans. "I told you that Jericho was dead when I got to the church, but he wasn't. He was alive. He died trying to save me from his father."

Rachel felt as if all the air had been sucked out of the room with this confession. Nobody moved, there was complete silence, as if the whole world was holding its breath.

"I'm sorry." Dick added after a long moment, crossing his arms over his chest as if to protect himself from an impending attack. "You all deserved more."

Rachel looked around the room trying to catch the reactions of others. Kory sat in an armchair, her eyes fixed on the back of his head. She looked worried and tense. Gar froze beside her. Only his eyes darted from one face to the other. The rest of the group was very easy to read because they reeked of anger. But also unpredictability. Rachel held her breath as things unfolded.

At the same time, she tried to untangle the confusion in her own head, to decipher her conflicting emotions. Dick had told them everything, he didn't hold anything back - the specific circumstances under which their friend Garth died, how the hunt for Slade Wilson led them to his son Jericho, whom - at Dick's idea - the team decided to use as a mean to an end, but when the boy proved himself to be trustworthy and they started to genuinely like him, they realized they were doing the wrong thing. But it was too late at this point. As a result Jericho was killed by his own father. And as it turned out - not at all like everyone thought so far.

Part of her was furious - because how could Dick bring them here, after all they'd been through, and promise them a fresh start without telling them what kind of past this place has? How was he going to create a new team and keep them from making the same mistakes if he didn't tell them what those mistakes were? How could he hide from them that someone - a kid not so different from them - had paid for these mistakes with his life?

 _He's not the only one with secrets here, remember?_ A soft voice whispered in her head. _Or have you forgotten already about your loss of control or the slashes on your back?_

Her hand involuntarily traveled under the back of her shirt, brushing the slowly healing wounds with her fingertips. Her eyes then shifted to Jason, and the memory of his terrified face when she attacked him during training flashed in her mind. Then she looked at Rose, whose twisted body was stuck in her head like a afterimage from staring directly at a source of light. She remembered the bandage wrapped around Gar's wrist, hidden under the sleeve of his green hoodie.

She caused it all. Day by day, her powers were getting more and more out of control, posing an open threat to everyone around her, like a ticking bomb.

And Dick had no idea about any of it.

Rachel felt guilt flooding her. She shouldn't judge him for keeping secrets when she herself was hiding something equally serious. Didn't they both do it for the same reasons - to protect each other? Dick kept them in the dark, especially when Deathstroke returned because he didn't want to make them his target. He didn't want them to be part of it. They were supposed to be safe this way.

She hid her problems from him because she thought she would be able to deal with them alone. Dick put so much work into their training, she didn't want to let him down. She didn't want him to think he had failed as a teacher and guardian. And most of all, she didn't want him to blame himself.

She looked at him now. He didn't move, stood in the same place, looking at the faces of everyone around him. His eyesight drifted from person to person, but he was unable to make eye contact with anyone. He looked at her too - but immediately looked away like he was ashamed. No - like he was _afraid_.

She remembered his words.

_I was afraid you'd leave this place. And me._

Indeed. He was terrified, she could feel it clearly now. Dick was convinced that after what had just emerged, they would all leave him. That she would leave him, too.

It was the only thing she couldn't - and _wouldn't_ \- do. She remembered her own fear, a few months ago, that Dick would abandon her. That he would leave her and never come back. He promised not to do it, then tried to ditch her in the care of Hank and Dawn. He left her at the convent. And then again when Angela appeared. But he _always_ came back.

Suddenly Rachel understood something.

Dick didn't do it because he didn't want her. He didn't do it because he didn't care about her. Quite the opposite - because he cared for her _too much_. He thought he was protecting her in this way, not from the world but from himself. He blamed himself for Jericho's death and was afraid the same would happen to her. And that he would be the cause of it.

She was so deeply immersed in her own thoughts that she didn't even notice when Hank stood up until Gar stirred restlessly beside her. The man slowly walked over to Dick, his face unreadable. Dick avoided his eyes for a little longer, but finally dared to meet his friend's gaze. One unimaginably long second later Hank raised his fist and punched Dick right in the face.

Kory and Dawn jumped up from their seats simultaneously. Rachel wanted to come over too, but Gar stopped her by grabbing her wrist and when she looked at him he just shook his head and his eyes sent a silent warning. _Don't interfere._

Dick bent down, pressing a hand to his face. Blood was dripping from his nose. Kory leaned over him with concern, her hands resting on his shoulders, but as she wanted to examine the injury, Dick waved her off, signaling that he was fine.

"You lying sack of shit!" Hank growled while Dawn tried to calm him down and pull him away.

"How many other fucking half-truths have you told us?" Donna asked from her seat at the kitchen island. Rachel had never seen her like this before - if her gaze could kill, Dick would be a dead man by now.

"You at least _got_ half-truths." Jason added, and Rachel suddenly felt furious. Why were they acting like they weren't part of it? Why didn't Jason see this? Was she the only one who got the meaning of the story?

Dick didn't say a word, just looked down and waited, which made her even more angry. He didn't even want to defend himself? Was he going to let them do anything to him?

"My brother's dead because of you!" Rose's voice filled with anger spread throughout the living space of the Tower. The girl shook her head in disbelief, then announced. "I'm out."

She got up from her chair and walked quickly to her room to get her things. Everyone just wordlessly watched her go.

Jason stood up next.

"I'm going with her." he said. This time, Dick reacted.

"Jason, you-"

"Look, you don't decide what I do anymore. What anybody does."

And he left the room.

 _Okay, good._ Rachel thought. _Let them go. Rose didn't trust us anyway, and Jason was just making things difficult. We don't need them._

Dick just sighed in resignation. It was evident that he was tired. This confession cost him a lot. And the blows kept coming one after another.

"I'm out, too." Donna said after a moment, and Hank and Dawn nodded in agreement.

"Yeah, what she said." the man added.

Kory took a step forward, catching up with Dick, who looked as if he'd been expecting it. He wasn't surprised at all.

"You can't be fucking serious."

"Oh, we _are_ serious." the amazon replied. Then she moved her eyes to Dick. "So what, we're just like your little soldiers that work on need-to-know basis? That's your idea of a team?"

Filled with anger, she stood up, taking a step towards him. Her words dripped with venom.

"I mean, you got a kid killed. Who the fuck hides that?"

Rachel was sick of all of this. It was too much. This time she couldn't bite her tongue anymore.

"Well, _that's_ fucking rich."

Suddenly she became the center of attention and the room fell silent after her words. But it didn't bother her. She eyed Donna with a gaze that shot lightning bolts. She was challenging her.

"Excuse me?" the woman asked, rising her eyebrows.

Rachel pushed herself away from the counter and walked out of the kitchen area into the open space of the living room with her head held high. Gar tried to stop her again, she even heard him whisper her name in warning, but this time she pulled her hand out of his grip without even looking back. Her eyes were fixed on the brunette.

"You were there, too." she continued calmly as she walked towards her. Seeing Donna starting to feel uncomfortable under the weight of her gaze, she felt a twinge of satisfaction.

"What?"

"You played your part." she pointed out. "You all played a part and you all decided to keep it a secret."

Donna broke eye contact, now clearly nervous. Rachel smiled slightly. She hit a weak spot - she found the one thing neither of them wanted to admit. Donna in particular.

"We thought it was for the best." she muttered, avoiding her gaze, which really was pathetic.

"Do you even hear yourself?" Rachel tossed her a question, raising her voice. Her fury was unstoppable. "Yeah, you thought it was for the best, just like Dick thought it was for the best to keep what really happened that day from you."

She looked at him. He stared at her with wide eyes, shock and misunderstanding written all over his face. He hadn't expected Rachel to defend him. 

But Kory did. She smiled encouragingly at her, pride sparkling in her eyes.

And Rachel was just getting started.

She turned around so she could look at Hank and Dawn and continued her tirade. The longer she talked, the more pieces logically came together in her head.

"From what I understand, using Jericho to get to Slade was Dick's idea, right?"

She tried to provoke them even though she knew she would not get an answer. And just like she thought, everyone stayed silent, so she continued.

"And after a while you all realized that this was not the most moral move." she more stated than asked. And of course she got zero response again. "But… did any of you voice your opinion on the matter? Did any of you get up and say _no, that's wrong, we can't do that?_ Have any of you even _tried_ to come up with a better idea?"

The prolonged silence and the fact that all three of the older Titans looked away from her in shame was enough of an answer. Rachel just nodded slowly and crossed her arms over her chest.

"I thought so… You're just a bunch of hypocrites who find it easier to blame someone who's already acting like a martyr than to admit your hands are dirty too."

She couldn't contain the flow of words anymore. It was all so unfair. How could they treat their leader, their _friend_ like that when he did so much and stretched himself almost too thin for them? Who sacrificed so much for them?

"And what do you even blame him for exactly, huh?" she began again, her voice raised an octave higher. "It wasn't Dick who was holding the weapon. He said it himself that Jericho died because he covered him with his own body. Deathstroke was going to kill Dick, and Jericho sacrificed himself to save him. He trusted him when he finally told him the truth. And he still trusted him even after Dick broke that trust by coming to this church, though he promised not to interfere. And he did it because- "

She paused, and her eyes widened as suddenly something hit her. She turned slowly again, her gaze falling on Donna.

"...Because Slade almost killed you." she finished, pointing a finger at the woman.

She felt like a detective trying to figure out a case, like she had a whiteboard covered with pieces of information in front of her and began connecting them with red thread. Her brain was working at full capacity. And seeing how Donna turned pale, she had to be on the right track.

"They found you in this museum lying in a pool of your own blood, barely alive… Donna, what were you even doing there?"

The woman blinked in surprise and furrowed her brows.

"He lured me into a trap…"

"Yes, but why _there_?" Rachel wondered further. "What did he get from murdering these Amazons? And why did he choose you, when it was Dick who Jericho trusted the most?"

Something wasn't right here. Rachel felt as if she was missing something, like there were holes in the story. At first, she was just going to point out their hypocrisy and vent her anger. But now? 

Now she was investigating.

And she probably wasn't the only one to pick up on these inaccuracies, because everyone's eyes were now on Donna, even Dick stopped looking like a contrite accused and glared at her with a critical eye, raising one eyebrow.

Donna, with all this attention on her, visibly tensed again. She realized she was cornered and the team waited for an answer she couldn't give. So she did what Rachel expected her to do - she tried to escape.

"You know what - I'm sick of this." she said, rolling her eyes, then headed for the elevator. "I will not let some brat-"

"She asked you a question, Donna." Dick cut in on her word and his sharp tone stopped them both. Rachel looked at him and gave him a smile of gratitude but his gaze was firmly fixed on the brunette.

Donna's eyes darted between them like during a tennis match. She shook her head again and sighed.

"Like I said - I'm out."

She turned on her heel and began to walk away, but Rachel wasn't going to let her leave that easily.

"Why can't you answer my question?" she asked and quickly grabbed Donna's wrist.

Then something happened.

Without even planning it, Rachel peered into her mind. It had happened by accident, like so many times in the past, but this time the connection was stronger - this time it weren't random snapshots lasting less than a second, but full, specific memories.

***************

_The vast museum hallway stretches in front of her. Donna and Jillian walk through it hand in hand._

_"Six months ago you begged me to stay in San Francisco. Insisting you deserve time to explore your independence from Diana with your indie-rock group of vigilante friends." says the older woman. "And now you want to go home?"_

_They stop. Donna turns to face her companion._

_"I was procrastinating." she explains. "As a young girl the idea of becoming a warrior - I couldn't wait. But now that the time's come to actually commit…"_

_Jillian walks past her and continues, while Donna, having no other choice, follows her._

_"We waged the great battles and wear the scars. That seems daunting?"_

_Donna hesitates._

_"No. This is my destiny." she answers in the end, but doesn't sound very confident in her statement. She takes a deep breath. "And I'm ready."_

_Jillian realizes it's about Garth. She admits that she has had an eye on Donna for a long time and knows what's going on between them. She even knows about the birthday party they had for him._

_Donna rolls her eyes, annoyed by her comments._

_"Hmm, well, since you know everything, I'll just shut up."_

_"Quite the contrary." Jillian replies. "You asked for more time here, I granted it. You still have six months left, whether you want to use it or not, that's your choice."_

_Donna shakes her head doubtfully._

_"Sometimes it's not."_

_Jillian looks at her for a long moment in silence. Something in her face changes._

_"My exhibit closes in two weeks." she says finally. "If you'd like to leave for Themyscira then, I'll make the arrangements."_

_Donna thinks for a moment, then nods. She agrees._

*******

_Dick and Donna are sitting in the Tech Room. He's in the swivel chair and she is leaning against the console, clearly distressed._

_"We need to talk…" she sighs._

_"He's right down the hall." he prompts, nodding at the door._

_"You and I." Donna explains, getting his attention. "I went to see Jillian about my time here."_

_"Again?" he asks surprised. "I thought she was the one that said you deserve time to explore your independence. She sanctioned it."_

_Donna takes a deep breath._

_"What Jillian giveth, Jillian taketh away."_

_"She's pulling you?"_

_"She changed her mind." Donna confirms. She stares into his eyes for a long moment, then looks away. "I need to go back to Themyscira."_

_Dick sighs deeply, looking disappointed._

_"When?"_

_"Tonight."_

_Dick scoffs, turns to the computer for a moment, running his hand across his face._

_"Bullshit!" he exclaims in frustration, then adds forcefully. "You need more time here. Do you want me to talk to her?"_

_"No." Donna shakes her head. "You can't talk her out of this. She's thought it through and this is how it has to be."_

_Dick slowly lets the air out of his lungs._

_"You need to tell Garth."_

_"I know." she answers. "I just… need to find the right moment."_

_Dick leans back in his chair and crosses his arms over his chest, sighing again._

_"So I guess this is-"_

_"Oh, don't." Donna interrupts him with a smile. "Me and you? No goodbyes."_

_Dick smiles warmly at her words._

*******

_Donna is walking down the hall of the Tower. Suddenly het phone vibrates in her pocket. She gets the message from Jillian:_ **_Departure at midnight._ **

_She stares at the screen for a moment, beating her thoughts. After a while, however, she replies:_ **_I'll be there._ **

_Then Garth shows up._

*******

_Donna and Garth are kissing passionately. They start to undress each other in a hurry and fall on the bed._

*******

_Donna, carrying the bag over her shoulder, heads for the elevator. Dick comes out from behind the wall to see her off. They stare at each other in silence for a long moment, then Donna nods and leaves. It hurts to look at him, to lie to him, to leave him. From the elevator, she sees he's still standing where he stood, with fists tucked in the pockets of his pants, sad and disappointed._

*******

_Everything happens in slow motion. In one instant, Garth is holding her in his arms, convincing her to stay. She is ready to do it. The next moment the impact of the bullet sinking into his chest pushes him backwards. He's dead before his body hits the ground._

*******

_She's back in the museum hallway, this time in a different section of it. Donna looks at the painting on display. Jillian slowly walks over to her._

_"I need to stay here." the girl confesses without taking her eyes off the exhibit. "Team needs me."_

_Jillian looks at her for a long moment. She is concerned. Donna keeps staring at the painting, though she has something completely different in front of her eyes._

_"Be careful." the woman warns her. "Vengeance is a dangerous path."_

*******

_All four gather in the tech room. Everyone is staring at the pictures displayed on the computer screen._

_"His name is Deathstroke." says Dick._

_Donna has tears in her eyes. Here she is, looking at the face of her beloved's killer. She feels despair and anger._

_"We're gonna hunt this fucker down and make him pay." Hank growls through gritted teeth. Dawn's whisper reaches Donna, but it's directed at someone else._

_"Now's the time." the blonde says with emphasis. "Be Batman."_

_Dick doesn't react._

*******

_Donna kicks the door open, breaking the lock from the wooden wall. The team steps inside a modern luxury home. The building is empty._

_"They knew we were coming." Dick says, looking around._

_"Oh, there's no way." Hank insists. "We moved too fast."_

_Donna stares out the window, only half listening to them. Suddenly she turns away with a suspicious expression on her face._

_"Or maybe sweet Jericho played us?"_

_"He hates his dad." Dawn challenges her theory. "You were there when he told us."_

_"More like love-hate. Either way, I say we party with young Jericho again." she turns to Dick, looking at him meaningfully, knowing he will understand. "See where it takes us."_

_"I'm still with Dawn on this." Hank announces after a moment. His next words sound sincere. "I'm done playing that kid."_

_Donna shakes her head, irritated._

_"Since when is separating children from their psychopath parents a bad thing? We're doing him a favor."_

_"We're not exactly Child Services." Hank points out._

_Donna is getting more and more emotional. She comes closer and lowers his voice._

_"Maybe you forgot what his dad did. Garth is dead."_

_"Nobody's forgotten." Dawn says reassuringly._

_"None of us." Dick confirms. Donna turns at the sound of his voice. "But maybe we've taken it far enough with him. We'll find another way."_

_He speaks softly, carefully. He's trying to be a mediator. But it doesn't work on her._

_"So I'll just stand here and wait for this big idea?" she hisses in annoyance._

_"I said_ we _. You'll be a part of it, too."_

_"Can't wait." she snaps, then shakes her head, rolls her eyes, and leaves._

*******

_Donna and Jillian enter the office. Two women hold the door for them and then close it, leaving them alone._

_"As you know, our work here sometimes ruffles feathers." Jillian speaks as she walks over to the desk. She opens the laptop and turns to Donna. "There's something you need to know… about Garth being shot. He wasn't the target."_

_Donna swallows, looks down, then nods and looks up again._

_"Show me."_

_She comes closer to the laptop. Jillian plays her a video footage that clearly shows the shot was aimed at her, but Garth moved to the side and covered her, taking the bullet on himself._

_"It was me." Jillian speaks after a while. "I'm so sorry. All I ever wanted to do was lookout for your best interests… and I brought tragedy."_

_"It's not your fault." Donna assures her. She has tears in her eyes, her voice is breaking. She looks mostly at the screen, only occasionally glancing at Jillian briefly, but cannot take her eyes off the recording for long._

_"Two things are certain in this world, good and evil." The older woman goes on. "Your friend Garth was good."_

_"Yes, he was."_

_Donna closes the laptop in one swift motion and turns to face her superior._

_"I hope this means you'll be leaving for Themyscira."_

_"Far from it." Jillian replies with a smile, then moves behind the desk. "My work here is important. I don't run."_

_Donna understands the meaning of her words ans accepts them._

_"We identified the shooter." she adds after a while. "His name is Deathstroke."_

_"Yes, we know." Jillian announces. "And I'll handle it."_

_Donna frowns, confused._

_"Why?"_

_"Because I've been authorized to bring the issue to a conclusion."_

_Donna raises her eyebrows in surprise._

_"You're pulling rank on me?"_

_"Call it what you want. You're grieving for a lost loved one. You're letting your emotions color your actions."_

_Jillian's words are hard, but they hit the nail on the head. Donna is pissed, she looks up, giving her a defiant and stubborn look._

_"I know exactly what I'm doing."_

*******

_Dick brings Jericho to the Tower. They are both extremely excited. Jericho demonstrates his powers by possessing Hank's body and making him dance. Interest is clearly growing in Donna as she's observing that ridiculous scene._

_"Body-hopping." she whispers as her eyes sparkle with excitement and greed. She turns to Dick, the corner of her mouth rising slightly. "There's so much you can do with that."_

*******

_Donna is sitting on the bed in her bedroom. Her phone vibrates. On the screen, she sees a message from Jillian:_

**_Urgent. Must leave for Themyscira now._ **

_She replies:_ **_Why?_ **

_Jillian:_ **_Can't explain. Come to the Gallery_ **

_Donna frowns, not knowing what's going on. After a while she texts back:_ **_On my way._ **

*******

_Donna finds the bodies of the Amazons. Jillian and her associates are dead. She begins to look for the perpetrator, knowing perfectly well who he must be._

_Deathstroke appears behind her, drawing his sword. Donna is preparing her lasso. She fights fiercely and angrily, but loses anyway. The first cut goes to her right side. She attacks anyway. Deathstroke pushes his fingers into the wound making the pain unbearable. After a few more blows, Slade cuts again, knocking her to her knees, then stands behind her and twists her arm, immobilizing her as he plunges his knife into her right shoulder blade. Donna screams in pain as he twists it in the wound. He knocks her to the ground and tears the knife out. She crawls away, but Slade follows her. He kneels down and puts the knife to her throat, Donna pulls herself up, trying to lean away from the blade. Deathstroke then holds a gun to her temple._

_"Listen closely. I'm only gonna say this once. Stay away from my son."_

_He throws her back to the ground and walks away. Donna reaches for her communicator with a shaking hand, sends an S.O.S. sygnal and loses consciousness._

*******

_Dick finds her. He runs to her and falls to his knees, then carefully rolls her over on her back. Donna can barely see him, her eyesight is blurry. She feels his gloved hand tighten around hers. After a while, Hank and Dawn appear as well._

_"It was Deathstroke." Donna is trying to say. They need to know._

_Dick puts a hand on her cheek. She sees concern and terror in his eyes, even under the mask. He looks her over, studying her injuries. Meanwhile, Hank announces that he has found Jillian. Donna hears his voice as if from under the water._

_"We have to get her out of here." Dawn says desperately._

_"I'll meet you back at the Tower." Dick replies. "Take care of Donna."_

_He leaps back to his feet and starts running until his footsteps finally fade away._

*******

_All furniture is tightly covered with foil. The entire Tower is plunged in darkness. Dick stands in the middle of an empty room, staring out the window. His luggage stands at the side, by the dining table. He turns as Hank, Dawn and Donna, with their own suitcases, walk out of the hallway._

_"I guess this is-"_

_He stops when he sees that Hank refuses to listen to him. He tries again, with Dawn this time._

_"Don't." she warns him before leaving as well._

_"I'll be in New York." Donna informs him after a moment of heavy silence. "If you ever need a place to crash…"_

_"Thank you." is his only reply._

_Knowing there's nothing else left to say between them, Donna turns and joins Hank and Dawn in the elevator. She shares one last glance with him before the door closes behind her._

*************

They pulled away from each other, both breathing hard. Memories were long and detailed, but in reality it couldn't have passed more than a few seconds. They both stared at each other, eyes wide with astonishment, processing what had just happened.

Rachel was the first to get her voice back, her anger returning. Now she knew everything.

"You gotta be fucking kidding me-"

"How- how could you?!" Donna cut in with a raised voice. There was disgust written all over her face. "It's none of your fucking business!"

"You know, for once in my life I don't regret that I did it without permission." Rachel admitted and moved closer. The woman instinctively stepped back. "It all started with you. You lied to him. You lied to all of them and now you're trying to run."

Donna's gaze shifted briefly to Dick before it returned back to her. She wanted to say something, to defend herself, but nothing came out of her mouth. Instead, Hank broke the silence.

"What is she talking about?"

There was no answer. Donna was too scared, trapped like a deer in the headlights.

Rachel took advantage of her silence.

"You wanna tell them yourself or should I?" she said. "And where should I start? Should I start with the fact that you were not pulled to return to Themyscira, but you asked for an earlier return yourself because you wanted to run away from your feelings for Garth? Or maybe with that little detail that he died quite accidentally, only because he tried to stop you from leaving, because the bullet wasn't actually meant for him but for Jillian?"

"Donna, is that true?" Dick asked as he came closer, though he already knew the answer. He knew how it worked when Rachel looked into someone's mind.

"I… I-"

"It's true." Rachel confirmed, never taking her eyes off her. "Jillian had shown her the video. The gun was aimed at her, but Garth sensed the bullet and shielded her with his own body. It only took two steps to the side."

"Damn." Kory whispered from somewhere in the room.

"Why didn't you tell us?" Dawn's low voice reached them from the window. Rachel didn't have to look at her to know she was devastated. It was perfectly audible in her voice.

Donna didn't answer again. She only bit her lower lip and lowered her head.

Rachel spoke again.

"Simple - revenge. She wanted Slade to herself. No matter how it came to it. Right, Donna?"

The woman looked up again, her eyes blazing with anger and fear, but continued to stay silent.

"You didn't care about Jericho at all. You never trusted him. You didn't care what would happen to him as long as you knew you would get what you wanted. Not once did you give your opinion on the plan. You got pissed when the rest of the team started to have doubts. When Dick said that you had to find another way, you said, and I quote: _So I'll just stand here and wait for this big idea?_ You were in too much hurry, you had no time for _another way_ . And when Jericho revealed his powers? You stared at him like a hunter at their prey! _Body- hopping. There's so much you can do with that_ \- like what, Donna? Dick opened the door to this place for him because he wanted to help him, just like he helped me or Gar. Like he wanted to help Rose. And your only thought was _how can I use it for my own gain?_ "

"This is bullshit." Hank breathed out. 

"Donna, how could you?" Dawn asked quietly.

Rachel rolled her eyes at her tearful tone. And to think she used to buy it. She turned and glared at them.

"Oh, don't act like you're saints, you two!" she exclaimed angrily. "You may have been a little more remorseful and decent, but you were in it anyway. You didn't lift a damn finger to stop it!"

She was screaming now. She couldn't help herself. She felt the energy circulate under her skin, just waiting to be released. She walked closer to Dawn, only now noticing that the woman's eyes were glazed with tears.

"And you! _Now's the time? Be Batman?_ What was that even supposed to mean? You pushed him in the only direction he never wanted to go! You made him become someone he never wanted to be! I used to think he was the one that hurt you. I felt _sorry_ for you. As it turns out, it was actually the other way around."

She went back to Donna, but along the way she glanced at the faces of the others - Gar was in complete shock. Kory was grinning from ear to ear as if she was watching some amazing spectacle, and Dick… Dick was deeply hurt, but when their eyes met, she saw something else behind them - pride.

Donna, on the other hand, looked like she was waiting for a death sentence. _Oh, how the tables have turned_ , Rachel thought bitterly.

"You know… I think you have more to apologize for than Dick ever had." she began aloud. "Tell me - how did it feel to live with a clear conscience? How did it feel having your hands clean while your best friend was suffering for the last five years? He wouldn't even be in that church if it wasn't for you. But you decided to take on Deathstroke alone, instead of calling for backup the moment you found out it was a trap. It almost got you killed and Dick just wanted to make him pay for that."

Donna looked at her friend with sadness in her eyes.

"Dick, I-"

She paused when she saw him look away. He didn't want to look at her, it was too much for him.

"Come to think of it…" Rachel continued. "...it was your stupid romantic indecision that started a whole series of events that led to the death of an innocent boy. Like… like the butterfly effect. You are as responsible for it as anyone else involved, if not more. Blaming Dick was the easiest solution - because it was his idea, because he is the leader, because he was there when it happened… Why do you think he kept this secret from you for so long? Because your manipulation worked. He took all the blame, just like you knew he would, making your job easier! He hid it from you so he wouldn't lose you! But guess what? Maybe he shouldn't have done it. It would have saved him five years of suffering and carrying alone a burden that wasn't just his."

Her eyes glowed red. Black smoke began to collect around her clenched fists and she felt a familiar tingling sensation under her skin. Donna instinctively stepped back.

"Now, if none of you is going to apologize and accept your fault, if none of you is going to show _your leader_ the respect he deserves, then I say you better get the _hell_ out of here."

Neither of them moved. Hank, Dawn, and Donna all stared at her in disbelief, but stayed where they were.

"You heard her." Kory said after a moment, stepping closer. "You need to leave."

"And do it now." Gar added, doing the same. "We don't want you here."

Dawn held out her hand to her.

"Rachel, please. Let us-"

"GET OUT!" she screamed, and the whole room shook with her power. Ceiling lamps started swaying. Several glasses smashed on the floor. Books fell from the shelves.

Donna turned and ran to the elevator, and Hank grabbed Dawn's wrist and pulled her towards their bedrooms without so much as glancing at the rest of them. On their way they passed Rose and Jason, who were watching the whole situation from the hallway, but they quickly disappeared as well.

Rachel suddenly felt light-headed and dizzy. She had trouble controlling the energy she just released - she tried to absorb it back, but her power was pushing outward, creating a black vortex around her, just like the one that had hurt Gar only a few days ago.

"Rachel?" Dick's voice reached her. He sounded fearful.

"What's happening?" Kory asked.

"Rach, calm down." Gar said coming closer to her.

She tried to take a deep breath and count to three - it didn't help.

"I can't-" she hissed through clenched teeth.

Suddenly, three pairs of gentle hands were on her simultaneously. She wanted to scream, tell them to step away, she didn't want to hurt them - but they weren't afraid of her. They led her to the couch and made her sit down. Dick stood to one side, eyebrows furrowed in concern. Gar sat down next to her and put his hand on her shoulder while Kory crouched down in front of her and took her hands in hers.

"Come on, honey. Breathe." she whispered, sending her a warm smile. "It's over. You were brilliant. They got what they deserved and now you can pull it back in."

They breathed together for a while, looking into each other's eyes. Eventually it started to work. The dark vortex began to come back to her and her eyes returned to their normal blue color.

All three deeply sighed in relief.

Kory got up and stepped aside while Dick came closer and sat down beside her. She looked into his eyes, suddenly unsure of his reaction to what she had done. Will he be angry with her? Maybe she made the mistake by interfering? But there was nothing in his eyes but warmth and gratitude, and a soft smile appeared on his lips as he took her hands in his, his thumb stroking her knuckles gently.

"You didn't have to do this for me, Rachel." he said softly. "I deserved all the-"

"Yes, I did." she interrupted him before he finished what he wanted to say. It hurt her that he still thought he deserved this treatment. That he still took the all this blame on himself. "I had to because you would just let them tear you apart until there was nothing left. I couldn't let that happen, it wasn't fair."

Her voice cracked at the last few words, and tears welled up in her eyes. Dick lifted his hand and wiped one that ran down her cheek, then pulled her to his chest. She pressed herself tightly to him, clinging desperately and a broken sob escaped her throat when she felt his strong arms close around her, hugging her even tighter.

"Thank you." he whispered in her ear and placed a tender kiss on her temple. Rachel chuckled wetly, hiding her face in the crook of his neck.

"That's what you do for family." she whispered back. Dick smiled and pulled away slightly, cupping her face in his hands. They stared into each other's eyes for a few seconds before he leaned in and kissed her forehead.

"I have never been more grateful to have you in my life." he breathed out after, happy tears gleaming in his eyes.

This time all four of them laughed. Rachel looked around at their faces. They were her family, she would do anything to protect them. And she loved them all so much.

"Same." she replied, turning back to him with a shy smile. "And I swear I'm not going anywhere."

She hugged him again, throwing her arms around his neck. Gar joined them a moment later, almost knocking them over onto the couch. Kory looked at them with her arms crossed over her chest, rolling her eyes with amusement.

"Come on, Kory." Dick's voice came from under the bodies of the two teenagers. "I know you want to join."

Gar and Rachel looked up and stared at her. Her resilience lasted a whole 5 seconds.

"Ah, what the hell." she sighed and jumped to join them, resting her head on Dick's shoulder and trying to hug both kids at the same time.

Rachel smiled to herself. That's what home felt like. And she just saved it from completely falling apart. _Secrets can destroy anything_ , she thought. Her mind wandered back to the wounds on her back. Dick had already seen her lose control. She will tell him about that too. Soon. She just didn't want to spoil such a wonderful moment now.

* * *

**_And I can go anywhere I want_ **

**_Anywhere I want, just not home_ **

**_And you can aim for my heart, go for blood_ **

**_But you would still miss me in your bones_ **

**_And I still talk to you (when I'm screaming at the sky)_ **

**_And when you can't sleep at night (you hear my stolen lullabies)_ **

**_I didn't have it in myself to go with grace_ **

**_And so the battleships will sink beneath the waves_ **

**_You had to kill me, but it killed you just the same_ **

**_Cursing my name, wishing I stayed_ **

**_You turned into your worst fears_ **

**_And you're tossing out blame, drunk on this pain_ **

**_Crossing out the good years_ **

**_And you're cursing my name, wishing I stayed_ **

**_Look at how my tears ricochet_ **

**Author's Note:**

> So, what do you think? Let me know! Kudos and comments as always appreciated. Also check out my other Titans works and come say hi on my Tumblr @not-so-mundane-after-all-97
> 
> Also!  
> I posted my first ever edit on YouTube. And yes, of course it's about Dick and Rachel. To those who have subscribed me on here - if you happened to get a notif that I posted something but couldn't find anything, it's because I tried to post the edit here be embedding the video but it didn't work so I kept deleting it. 
> 
> So I'm putting the link to the edit here:  
> https://youtu.be/XWOAr6NSB48
> 
> Enjoy and I'll see you soon! Good things are coming...


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